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Monday, July 16, 2012

50 Shades of Vehicles

Last Thursday, my husband and I were talking about how his mother hadn't called him in awhile. "She must be pissed about something" he said, to which I agreed. "She's probably still mad that you didn't go to the Olive Garden dinner", to which I didn't agree. I said, "if she doesn't talk to me, then she's mad about the Olive Garden, but I've already seen her since then and she was fine, it must be you." 

On Saturday, my husband was back at his mother's house because he works there every other weekend. He called and said, "the new truck (Honda Ridgeline) is gone and a new Honda Crosstour is in its place." The whole weekend she never said anything to him about her newest vehicle because at some point she has to realize what a lunatic she is. Who buys a car for 2 weeks. Doesn't she even test drive before purchasing?

Monday, July 9, 2012


June 4th was my husband and I's one year anniversary. We had a nice dinner, and got a very sweet card from my parents and got a card from one of my husband's cousins.

The day after, my husband was on the phone with his mother who said, "it's almost been one year since I talked to my sister." My husband said, "it was one year ago yesterday". MIL said, "Oh, well you made it a year, you'll make it forever". She said the same thing when we had only been dating for 6 months, 1 year, and 2 years, etc. She finds a phrase and sticks to it.

50 Shades of Stupid

My husband works in his hometown every other weekend doing lawn maintenance. He keeps his lawn equipment at her house and during this last tropical storm, several tree limbs came down on her property. When he showed up to her house the first thing she said was, "you better have brought your chain saw with you or you can leave now. it's your fault these limbs are in my yard." He said "BIL was just here and could've cut some trees down and the chain saw has been here all along."

Then she told him she traded in her older truck and new Acura TSX (bought less than a year ago) and got a new truck. When he was less than thrilled to hear about her wasting more money and wasn't interested in looking at the truck, she cried and cried about how sad and lonely she is. Wah!


My husband's brother (BIL) has been in Afghanistan for the past year and came home a few weeks ago. This is only part of the reason they didn't come to my wedding.  BIL and SIL from hell are moving from Alaska to Pennsylvania in August and came to visit two weeks ago. YAY!

Flying into a big city between her family and my husband's afforded them the opportunity to still drive many miles and to visit as many people as they could. Visiting my MIL and husband was scheduled for the end of their trip. They got to town on a Tuesday and MIL set up a dinner for family and friends that live nearby. Dinner with her is always at the Olive Garden, which I loathe entirely. My husband didn't want to go as he and his brother haven't been close since he got back together with SIL.

A little history...

Last deployment (09-10), SIL met BIL in Hawaii during BIL's vacation time where she professed she no longer loved him. When BIL arrived home, she met him at the airport only to give him his car keys and to inform him that she had already moved out and in with another dude. She also, supposedly, emptied their shared bank account. Months later, he took her lame ass back. All this was secondhand information from one of BIL's friends, who happens to live in the same town as my husband and I.

So the dinner happened, I didn't go, and my husband said it was awkward as he thought it would be.

I did, however, meet them for lunch on Friday. SIL gave me a full hug and I felt her bones. She looked rail thin. BIL gave me his half hug, per usual. My husband and I hadn't seem them in a year and a half and the last time we saw them we had just gotten engaged. There were no congratulations from them and as my husband and I had drove separately to MIL's house to see them, they waited until I left to give my husband a Christmas present.

BIL's friend also joined us for lunch and dominated the entire lunch with tales of vacations to Europe. I think I rolled my eyes a few times and my husband hit my leg under the table a few times. Didn't BIL just get back from a year in Afghanistan? Weren't we all family and the friend the outsider? Listening to him go on and out about how he won a trip to Paris, for the 2nd time, just made me want to gag.

SIL and BIL left the next day, and as expected, we haven't heard from them. Supposedly they're coming for Christmas but we hope to avoid them entirely.